1. Where do you get your protein?!
Dirt. I eat dirt.
No but really: Plants.
Ahem, let's try that again:
PLANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you forget that plants have protein? (For example, broccoli has 4.2 g of protein per serving. Potatoes have 4.3 g of protein per serving. Edamame has 18 g of protein per serving. Peanuts have 7 g of protein per serving. Tofu has 10 g of protein per serving. Got it?)
2. Can't you just pick it off?
The simple answer: No.
Medium Answer: Hell no.
Long answer: Most vegans are vegan because of deeply held ethical beliefs about killing animals. We don't believe that it's okay to kill animals for food, or to use them as clothing or entertainment. We strive to make the world as good as we can for our fellow animal kind. So, let's say you order a pepperoni pizza, and you want to share some with me. When you are saying "Can't you just pick it off?!" you are asking me to ignore my deeply held belief that a pig shouldn't have to die for your effing pizza and just pretend everything is hunky dory. Also, picking the meat off leaves like this meat juice residue there. AND the pizza is coated with cheese. Guess where cheese comes from?! Did you say carrots? Nope. Here:
3. Wow. But you look so healthy.
That's because I am. That's what happens when you eat lots of fruits and vegetables. (See, because unlike meat and dairy, fruits and vegetables and other vegan foods are not loaded with saturated fat and cholesterol that clogs your arteries and increases your blood pressure, as well as your chance of having a stroke or heart attack later in life. Now, look - I am not saying that being vegan makes you disease proof. I am saying that being vegan can significantly lower your risk of having high cholesterol or high blood pressure.)
4. But we're at the top of the food chain!
Tell that to the following animals:
These and many other animals have to hunt and kill their food with their bare paws and teeth, then eat their food raw - completely raw. Whereas you can walk into your local Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, or D'Agostino's and buy your "food" and cook it. Plus, there are certain situations where, when threatened or intimidated, these predators may attack humans, who are physically incapable of outrunning a big cat or other predator. But sure, you go ahead and believe that humans are at the top of the food chain, you precious snowflake.
5. I don't like vegan food.
Things that are vegan that you probably love: Fruits like bananas, grapes, oranges, apples, plums, etc. Vegetables like carrots, broccoli, lettuce, and onions. So, like sure you may not like some vegan food - but I promise there is plenty you do like.
6. Oh, I thought this tasted funny.
This is based off an actual comment I received while helping some friends run a fan suite at a local Con event. They had it set up like a cafe for Con attendees, and were serving all vegan food. One woman was enjoying the food, eating a vegan bratwurst, and saying how good it tasted. She stated that it was excellent and she was really enjoying it. THEN, AFTER she heard me say that all the food was vegan, THEN she said "Oh, I thought it tasted funny."
No, sweetheart, you didn't. Not until you knew it was vegan.
7. Plants feel pain to, you know.
This is an animal:
This is a carrot:
One of these things has a central nervous system, bones, muscles, joints, etc, that make it capable of feeling pain when injured or harmed in any way. The other is a fucking carrot.
