Stupid Shit People say to Vegans

1. Where do you get your protein?!

Dirt.  I eat dirt. 

No but really: Plants. 



Ahem, let's try that again:


PLANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Did you forget that plants have protein?  (For example, broccoli has 4.2 g of protein per serving.  Potatoes have 4.3 g of protein per serving.  Edamame has 18 g of protein per serving. Peanuts have 7 g of protein per serving.  Tofu has 10 g of protein per serving.  Got it?)

2. Can't you just pick it off?

The simple answer: No. 

Medium Answer: Hell no.

Long answer: Most vegans are vegan because of deeply held ethical beliefs about killing animals.  We don't believe that it's okay to kill animals for food, or to use them as clothing or entertainment.  We strive to make the world as good as we can for our fellow animal kind.  So, let's say you order a pepperoni pizza, and you want to share some with me. When you are saying "Can't you just pick it off?!" you are asking me to ignore my deeply held belief that a pig shouldn't have to die for your effing pizza and just pretend everything is hunky dory.  Also, picking the meat off leaves like this meat juice residue there.  AND the pizza is coated with cheese.  Guess where cheese comes from?!  Did you say carrots?  Nope.  Here:

3. Wow.  But you look so healthy.

That's because I am.  That's what happens when you eat lots of fruits and vegetables.  (See, because unlike meat and dairy, fruits and vegetables and other vegan foods are not loaded with saturated fat and cholesterol that clogs your arteries and increases your blood pressure, as well as your chance of having a stroke or heart attack later in life.  Now, look - I am not saying that being vegan makes you disease proof.  I am saying that being vegan can significantly lower your risk of having high cholesterol or high blood pressure.)

4. But we're at the top of the food chain!

Tell that to the following animals:

These and many other animals have to hunt and kill their food with their bare paws and teeth, then eat their food raw - completely raw.  Whereas you can walk into your local Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, or D'Agostino's and buy your "food" and cook it.  Plus, there are certain situations where, when threatened or intimidated, these predators may attack humans, who are physically incapable of outrunning a big cat or other predator.  But sure, you go ahead and believe that humans are at the top of the food chain, you precious snowflake.



5. I don't like vegan food.

Things that are vegan that you probably love: Fruits like bananas, grapes, oranges, apples, plums, etc.  Vegetables like carrots, broccoli, lettuce, and onions.  So, like sure you may not like some vegan food - but I promise there is plenty you do like. 

6. Oh, I thought this tasted funny.

This is based off an actual comment I received while helping some friends run a fan suite at a local Con event.  They had it set up like a cafe for Con attendees, and were serving all vegan food. One woman was enjoying the food, eating a vegan bratwurst, and saying how good it tasted. She stated that it was excellent and she was really enjoying it.  THEN, AFTER she heard me say that all the food was vegan, THEN she said "Oh, I thought it tasted funny."

No, sweetheart, you didn't.  Not until you knew it was vegan.

7. Plants feel pain to, you know.

This is an animal:

This is a carrot:

One of these things has a central nervous system, bones, muscles, joints, etc, that make it capable of feeling pain when injured or harmed in any way.  The other is a fucking carrot. 

Reasons You Should Never Go Vegan!

Let's face it: going vegan is hard!  So, for all of you out there who are not vegan, here are the reasons you should just never, ever become a vegan.

1. You don't like animals... At all.

Lots of people think animals are cute and fun.  But not you!  If youy don't like animals, and if you don't care about their lives at all, you should definitely not go vegan.

2. You don't care about the environment.

Studies have been done showing the negative impact that animal agriculture has on the environment.  If you don't give a shit about the environment, you should not go vegan at all!

3. You don't really care about your health.

Dr. Neal Barnard (from the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine), Dr. T. Colin Campbell (author of The China Study), and many other doctors have spent time studying the effects of animal proteins on the human body.  They have determined that eating animal protein increases a persons risk of heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and other health problems.  It seems right, then, that if you don't care about your health, you should not go vegan.

4. Vegan food is just gross.

Let's face it: vegan food is gross, amiright? I mean, look at bananas, grapes, broccoli, potatoes, lettuce, and all those other nasty fruits and vegetables that vegans eat every day!  And don't even get me started on pasta, rice, beans, and nuts.  I mean, disgusting.  Let's face it - you're better off eating dead animal flesh filled with pus, blood, vein, and potentially even feces.  That's much less disgusting than the banana I ate for breakfast, right?!


As you can tell from the wonderful reasons above, you are really better off not ever going vegan.  Just keep eating and wearing dead animals. 

However, if, for some crazy reason, you think going vegan is for you, by all means check out the resources below.  (But you'll probably just be disappointed!)

Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine: http://www.pcrm.org/
The Vegan Society: https://www.vegansociety.com/go-vegan/why-go-vegan
Vegan Kit: http://vegankit.com/why/

Dear PeTA

Last week, I checked the mail and had a survey from the State of Minnesota.  I was curious as to why the state would be sending me a survey.  Perhaps they wanted me to tell them how to keep snow off our streets in the winter.... Or how increase tourism...  I opened it to discover it was a survey from none other than PeTA.  That's right, the lovely paint-tossing, sexist, fat-phobic PeTA sent me a survey to ask me all about cruelty to cats and dogs.  They wanted to know how aware I am of the cruelty that happens to cats and dogs on a regular basis.  Then, on the back of the survey, there was a request for donations.  PeTA was even so kind as to circle the $19 a month option for me, telling me that this was the amount that would help them the most. 

See, here's the thing, PeTA: I don't like your organization.  I never have.  I think the tactics PeTA uses to spread their message are atrocious and vile.  Most of you probably know some of the things PeTA has done that are below the belt.  But in case you don't, let me share.

1.Fat-Phobia: Yes, PeTA is incredibly fat-phobic.  They have posted numerous billboards shaming overweight people in order to get the message out that being vegan may help you lose weight.  Yes, it's true that people who follow a plant based diet tend to be thinner than their meat eating counterparts.  Yes, eating a plant-based diet can reduce your risk of becoming obese, or getting an illness commonly linked to meat and dairy consumption (such as high blood pressure.)  However, it is not true that all vegans are skinny.  It's also not true that all meat eaters are fat.  Becoming a vegan is not a sure fire weight loss venture.  And fat shaming people is not ever going to get you what you want.  Below are some examples of PeTA's fat shaming ads:

(This one is especially awful because it implies that fat people can't be or shouldn't be proud of their bodies.  I love my body, even when I'm fat.)

 

 

2. PeTA is sexist.  They commonly have ads featuring women wearing either no clothes or some bikini that shows off tons of skin.  They have made videos where a man and woman have very violent sex, then say it's because the man is vegan.  One only has to watch the following video to see how PeTA tries to appeal to men:

 

 



The entire video is based on the idea that the ONLY way to appeal to men is with sex.  It implies that men cannot do or accomplish anything in their lives unless sex is on the table.  This video implies that men can't become vegan because of moral or ethical reasons - which is bs.  If you are a man and you're not offended by the implications of this video, then color me surprised.

When looking at the way PeTA treats women, one need only look at the following advertisement:

There are hundreds of other ads like this that PeTA has put out that degrade women and put them in vulnerable positions.  The suggestion is that women are only valuable for their sex appeal and nothing else.  (That also goes back to the implication that men can only be enticed by sex.  Women are not here just for their sexuality, and men can be appealed to on more than just the most base level. 

So, PeTA, I am not going to thank you for sending me that survey.  I am not going to donate any money.  I won't promote your organization.  These and other reasons are more than enough for me to take my volunteerism and monetary donations elsewhere - and I'd urge all other animal activists to do the same.



Stir Fry!

If you know me,you know I love a good stir-fry, especially a spicy one!  So, on this {mostly} photographed post - I present my supper from the other night that I promised I would take photos of! 

(There is more than enough to feed to or three people - or make into leftovers!)

 

 

 

 

Trail Mix Time

When I was thinking about this blog post, for some reason, the song "Peanut Butter Jelly Time," popped into my head.  But don't worry - there's no jelly in this trail mix! 

What you need:
1/4 lb of peanuts
1/4 lb of almonds
1/4 lb of walnuts
1/4 lb of sliced pistachios
1/2 lb of raisins
1/2 lb craisins
1/2 lb of dried bananas or cherries (or both if you like)
1 bag of vegan chocolate chips

Mix ingredients together in large bowl, then store in airtight container.  You can mix it into small bags or containers as well if you'll be bringing it with you for lunch or a trip.  The beauty of trail mix is that it travels so well you can bring it anywhere!  Enjoy!

Thai Orchid

If you are a vegan living in or traveling to the Fargo/Moorhead area, stopping at the Thai Orchid is a must!  It is easily one of my favorite restaurants around.  Good food, with big enough plates to give you leftovers. 

When you go, be sure to try the spring rolls!  Totally awesome, totally vegan. 

If you love your food spicy, get yourself some Evil Jungle Noodle.  It's got rice noodles, bell peppers, carrots, bean sprouts, bamboo, coconut milk, and thai red curry.  It's amazing and sure to fill you up. 

In addition to those items, which are my faves, they also have Tom Kah soup, Tom Yum soup, Thai Salad, Somtum salad, Pad Basil, and a whole host of other great items that are or can be made vegan!  Just make sure you remind them not to use fish sauce! 

If you decide to pay the Thai Orchid a visit, you won't regret it.  Great restaurant, great staff, great food!

Veggie Buddha Bowl!

This is something that I love love love making!  It's delicious and healthy! 

What you need:
1/2 c brown rice
1 medium potato
1 carrot
1 c chopped broccoli
1 T Earth Balance

Directions:
Cook the brown rice in a medium sized pot.  While the rice is cooking, cut the potato into slices.  Cut each slice in 4.  Peel and cut the carrot.  Chop the broccoli.  Place the earth balace in a skillet and heat.  Once heated, put the potatoes, carrots and broccoli in the skillet and cook until tender. 

Once brown rice and veggies are cooked, mix in a bowl and enjoy! 

This will easily serve 2 (unless you're really hungry!)